


Far Behind Me

by Flynne



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-07
Updated: 2019-11-07
Packaged: 2021-01-25 04:23:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21350203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Flynne/pseuds/Flynne
Summary: Working late, Garrus hears music coming from Shepard's cabin.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 1
Kudos: 35





	Far Behind Me

**Author's Note:**

> Short story I've been working on for a while, featuring my first Shepard, Sam. The song is "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Israel Kamakawiwo'ole.

Garrus slumped back against the wall and rubbed the back of his neck, blinking at the display in front of him with strained eyes. He and Marguerite had split Alenko’s shifts between them, picking up the slack to take over for the lieutenant, but even so, there was a lot to catch up on. Alenko had done more at his small station than Garrus had realized. 

He didn’t notice that he’d closed his eyes until faint strains of music caught his attention and he blinked them open once more. It took him a moment to realize that the sound was filtering through the wall behind him, coming from Shepard’s cabin. He tilted his head, listening. The music wasn’t loud, but it sounded close and immediate. The tune wasn’t familiar, but it was sweet and wistful, and listening to it while standing at Alenko’s workstation made something twist beneath his keel. 

He didn’t leave, though, staying close against the wall again to listen, tension slowly seeping from his shoulders as he let his awareness drift and float on the faint snatches of song. All too soon, the music faded to silence and didn’t start again. The console in front of him beeped softly, done with the cycle he’d started. He sighed a little in regret, reaching to shut down the workstation for the night when he heard the door open and Shepard stepped into view, carrying an empty mug in each hand. 

“Oh - Garrus…” She didn’t exactly startle, but her eyes widened. “I didn’t know you were out here.”

He tilted his head in a shrug. “Just finishing up a few diagnostics.” 

She smiled tiredly. “Bit of a late night for you.”

“I could say the same for you.” He should say goodnight now. She was clearly getting ready to turn in; still wearing her uniform trousers but wearing a soft, faded t-shirt. But curiosity got the better of him and before he had a chance to think about it, he asked, “Did I hear music a little while ago? Was that you?”

Shepard looked a little sheepish, an expression he’d never seen on her face before. “Yes. That was...ah, my guitar.”

Garrus knew she played an instrument - she’d mentioned it in at least one of their many talks over the past months, but… “I’ve never heard you play before.” 

She shrugged, smiling a little sadly. “I’ve only played in my quarters; the only person who’s really been in a position to overhear has been Kaidan.”

The peaceful silence of the night cycle threatened to become oppressive, the shadows of the dimly lit deck yawning more darkly than they should. Rebellion flared in Garrus’ chest, an unwillingness to sink back beneath the heaviness of grief and the weight of the impossible mission they’d taken on. “I didn’t recognize the song you were playing, but I liked it. Or at least, I liked what I could hear.” He was half-surprised by his own outburst but he’d set himself down this path of conversation and following impulsive urges was what had landed him on the _ Normandy _ to begin with, so… “Would you...mind playing it for me?”

Shepard _ did _look startled now. His question hung in the air between them for a heartbeat or two before she laughed a little and said, “Well, I guess if you can’t play for an audience, there’s no point in practicing, is there?” If the expression on her face was a bit self-conscious, her tone was welcoming as she tilted her head toward her cabin. She gestured with the mugs she carried. “Go on in, I’ll just drop these in the galley.” 

He shut down the console, relieved that she’d agreed, and slipped through the door. He’d never been in her cabin before, and wasn’t surprised to see that it was neat and organized - except for her desk, which was an alarming clutter of data pads, weapons, and three empty coffee mugs that apparently were _ not _ destined to head to the galley that night. 

Shepard returned shortly, waving a hand in the direction of her desk. “Have a seat, and don’t judge me for my organizational system.”

Garrus let out an amused snort as he settled in her desk chair. It was a little uncomfortable - too short for him and the wrong shape - but he exchanged discomfort for curiosity as Shepard moved to sit on a trunk at the end of her bed and opened up an oddly-shaped case. 

He’d seen a guitar before, but only in vids and never up close. A lot of the instruments he’d seen human performers playing were flashy or had eccentric angles or colors, but Shepard’s was rather understated, golden wood in smooth curves that fit easily against her leg and beneath her arm. She strummed a few tuneless chords, adjusting the silver pegs attached to the instrument’s wires, then began to play. 

The music was light, the rhythm brisk, but the tune was gentle and just on the sad side of cheerful. Almost immediately, he found himself struck by the movement of her left hand, steady and nimble on the strings along the guitar’s narrow neck. As a child, he’d thought the five-fingered hands of humans and asari to be a bit unusual (it took him a while to figure out how they managed to hold their weapons) but watching her now he was struck by how nimble and strong her fingers were.

Then Shepard cleared her throat, hummed along for a few bars and began to sing. The lyrics wandered a bit, as if the songwriter were caught in the hazy place between sleep and wakefulness…half-finished thoughts about birds flying over rainbows, lullabies, and dreams coming true. Garrus didn’t know if her voice was considered good by human standards but he found himself enthralled, responding to the sweetness of the music, feeling the twist blooming beneath his keel again, warm and full of the longing he heard in the words of the song. Wishing on stars, being lifted high above the clouds, troubles melting away - 

She glanced up to meet his eyes, and her smile was so bright and clear that his heart stuttered, the ache in his chest so fierce and sweet that he could scarcely draw breath.

Shepard finished the song with a playful flourish of the little piece of plastic in her right hand. Garrus, still trying to remember how his lungs worked, didn’t move. She tilted her head. “You all right there, big guy?”

He needed to answer her. “I’m - yes, I…” He fumbled a bit, coughed out a laugh. “Just...tired, I suppose.” 

“It _ is _ late,” Shepard said with a resigned sigh. “No time for an encore.” It didn’t take long for her to stow her guitar in its case again, but by the time she was done, Garrus had managed to sort himself out.

He got to his feet. “I enjoyed hearing you play.” 

“It was nice to have company.” She walked him to the door. “If you ever hear me playing again, you’re welcome to knock.” 

“I might do that,” he replied as he stepped into the corridor, surprised but pleased by the offer. “Good night, Commander.” 

“Good night, Garrus.” 

\----------------------------

Although he knew Shepard’s offer had been sincere, Garrus didn’t get the chance to take her up on it before they were summoned back to the Citadel. There was no time for leisure after that, and faster than he realized it was happening, Saren was dead, Sovereign was in pieces, his stint on the _ Normandy _ was over, and he’d resumed his position in C-Sec.

He couldn’t remember the words to the song, and only recalled short, disjointed snatches of melody, but he didn’t forget the brilliance of her smile as she sang, and the memory remained, a bright, warm kernel in his chest.


End file.
